About Marriage

Part I - Bible Study

Introduction (Marriage is NO joke!)

Dear Tech Support:
Last year I upgraded Girlfriend 4.1 to Wife 1.0 and noticed my new program started unexpected child processing, taking up space and valuable resources. No mention of this phenomenon was included in the project brochure.

Additionally, Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other programs and launches during system initialization, where it monitors all other systems activities. Applications like Beerbash 2.5 and Pokernight 3.02 no longer run, and crash the system when selected.

I cannot seem to purge Wife 1.0 from the system. I am considering returning to the Girlfriend 4.1 program, but uninstall does not work on Wife 1.0. Can you help me?

Dear User:
This common problem is due to a primary misconception. Wife 1.0 is not a Utilities & Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an Operating System designed by its Creator to run everything.

Do not try to uninstall, delete or purge Wife 1.0 from the system once installed, as that can be disastrous.

Read the General Protection Fault (GPF) section and push the apologize button, assuming all responsibility for any problems.

Wife 1.0 is a great program, but requires high maintenance. Daily maintenance utilities include TLC and frequent use of Communicator 5.0.

(Signed) Holy Spirit, Tech Rep, Heavensoft, Inc.
As a VERY happily married man I don't usually like jokes about marriage.

However, I make an exception for the humorous little tidbit in the panel above. Yeah, it pokes a bit of fun at marriage, but it does so in a constructive way. Happily married folks can grin at this story because it has some truth to it, and a positive slant.

Getting to the bottom line,
the goal of this essay is to take a look at God's viewpoint of marriage. It makes sense to do this. After all, marriage IS God's invention.

The four main principles of marriage


  • a man shall leave his father and his mother
  • and shall cleave unto his wife
  • and they shall be one flesh.
  • And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.

Gen 2.24-25

As ordained by God, marriage is based on four main principles:

  • 1) severance
  • 2) permanence
  • 3) unity
  • 4) openness
  • a man shall leave his father and mother


The husband must sever the parent-child bond and lead his own family. This doesn't mean he ignores or abandons his parents, but that he is no longer subordinate to them.
  • and shall cleave unto his wife


Since permanence of the marriage bond is ordained by God, the question should not be, "What must we do to stay together?" Rather, it must be, "Since we WILL stay together, what must we do to keep our marriage as joyful as God intends?"
  • and they shall be one flesh


Marital unity resembles a pair of shears...

  • Two people who are so joined that they can't be separated
  • Sometimes moving in different directions
  • Yet always cutting through anything that comes between them
  • And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed


Spouses must be open and honest in sharing with each other -- emotionally, spiritually, and physically. No shame. No secrets. No reservations.

God's goals for marriage

To provide companionship   And the Lord God said, "It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.'' (Gen 2.18)
To provide physical and emotional pleasure   Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice with the wife of your youth. As a loving deer and a graceful doe, let her breasts satisfy you at all times; and always be enraptured with her love. (Prov 5.18-19)
To have children   Then God blessed them, and God said to them, "Be fruitful and multiply" (Gen 1.28)
To establish "family" as the foundation for nurturing and raising children   Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.
"Honor your father and mother,'' which is the first commandment with promise: "that it may be well with you and you may live long on the earth.''
And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord. (Eph 6.1-4)
To picture the relationship between the Lord Jesus and His bride, the church   "For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.'' This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church. (Eph 5.31-32)

Some key responsibilities of every husband

To tend to his family's material needs through working, building, repairing, cultivating, financing, supporting, etc.   Then the Lord God took the man and put him in the garden of Eden to tend... it. (Gen 2.15)
To keep his family safe by defending them from both physical AND spiritual harm.   Then the Lord God took the man and put him in the garden of Eden to... keep it. (Gen 2.15)
To love his wife enough to die for her.   Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself (died) for it (Eph 5.25)

Some key responsibilities of every wife

To be a helper -- one who walks alongside another person, giving comfort and aide and hope.   The LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him." (Gen 2.18, NIV)
To be a counterpart -- one of two parts that fit together and complete each other.   The LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a... suitable (neged *) for him." (Gen 2.18, NIV)

* Strong's Concordance #5048 defines neged as " a counterpart, or mate."
To love her husband enough to live for him.   Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. (Eph 5.22)

Part II - Poetry

My Beloved spake, and said unto me...

Rise up, my love, my fair one, and come away!
For, lo, the winter is past.

The rain is over and gone.
The flowers appear on the earth.
The time of the singing of birds is come,
And the voice of the turtle is heard in our land.

The fig tree putteth forth her green figs.
The vines with the tender grape give a good smell.

Arise, my love, my fair one, and come away!
Song of Songs 2.10-13

He who finds a wife finds a good thing,
And obtains favor from the Lord.
Let your fountain be blessed,
And rejoice with the wife of your youth.
As a loving deer and a graceful doe,
Let her breasts satisfy you at all times;
And always be enraptured with her love.
Prov 18.22, 5.18-19

A Woman's Question

Do you know you have asked for the costliest thing
Ever made by the Hand above?
A woman's heart, and a woman's life --
And a woman's wonderful love.

Do you know you have asked for this priceless thing
As a child might ask for a toy?
Demanding what others have died to win,
With the reckless dash of a boy.

You have written my lesson of duty out;
Manlike, you have questioned me.
Now stand at the bar of my woman's soul
Until I shall question thee.

You require your mutton shall be always hot,
Your socks and shirt be whole;
I require your heart to be true as God's stars
And as pure as His heaven your soul.

You require a cook for your mutton and beef,
I require a far greater thing;
A seamstress you're wanting for socks and shirts --
I look for a man and a king.

A king for the beautiful realm called Home,
And a man that his Maker, God,
Shall look upon as He did on the first
And say: "It is very good."

I am fair and young, but the rose will fade
From my soft young cheek one day;
Will you love me then 'mid the falling leaves,
As you did 'mong the blossoms of May?

Is your heart an ocean so strong and deep,
I may launch my all on its tide?
A loving woman finds heaven or hell
On the day she becomes a bride.

I require all things that are grand and true,
All things that a man should be;
If you give this all, I will stake my life
To be all you demand of me.

If you cannot be this (a laundress and cook
You can hire and little to pay)
But a woman's heart and a woman's life
Are not to be won that way.

Lena Lathrop

Jenny Kissed Me

Jenny kissed me when we met,
Jumping from the chair she sat in.
Time, you thief! who love to get
Sweets to your list, put that in.

Say I'm weary, say I'm sad;
Say that health and wealth have missed me;
Say I'm growing old but add ---
Jenny kissed me!
Leigh Hunt

Better is a dinner of herbs where love is,
than a fatted calf with hatred.
Prov 15.17

All day I did the little things,
The little things that do not show;
I brought the kindling for the fire
I set the candles in a row,
I filled a bowl with marigolds,
The shallow bowl you love the best --
And made the house a pleasant place
Where weariness might take its rest.
* * * * *
You came into that quiet room
That glowed enchanted with the bloom
Of yellow flame. I saw your face.
Illumined by the firelit space,
Slowly grow still and comforted --
"It's good to be at home," you said.
From a poem by Blanche Kuder

Houses and riches are an inheritance from fathers,
but a prudent wife is from God.
Prov 19.14

When whipporwills call,
And evening is nigh,
I hurry to my Blue Heaven.

A turn to the right,
A little white light,
And then I'm in my Blue Heaven.

I see a smiling face,
A fireplace, a cozy room.
A little nest that nestles where
The roses bloom.

Just Molly and me,
And baby makes three,
Oh yes, I'm in my Blue heaven!

Two are better than one,
Because they have a good reward for their labor.
If they fall, one will lift up his companion.

Woe to him who is alone when he falls,
For he has no one to help him up.
Again, if two lie down together, they will keep warm;
But how can one be warm alone?
Eccl 4.9-11


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